So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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