Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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