So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize