Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
