remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
