is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
