How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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