Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
