He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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