dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize