And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Oh god it's open bar.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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