Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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