Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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