Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize