The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
