Will you blow on my dice?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
