Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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