You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
