i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
