You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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