sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
