3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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