your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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