I should be sponsored by Trojan
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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