she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
