fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
