broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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