I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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