this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
