i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
