i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
