Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
