Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
