can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dick very happy bro
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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