If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
