You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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