they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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