shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How's work?
Spinning.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
