My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
