her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
