New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
