i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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