you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Randomize
