Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize