well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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