dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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