...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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