The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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