She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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