Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
