And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
