Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I supernannyed him into submission
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
