question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
