So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
