went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
