He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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