I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
