KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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