If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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