wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
