I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
