god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
