thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
