Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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