Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
