All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
