I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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