We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
