I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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