so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
