What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I party with great urgency now.
Shame - the story of my life.
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