How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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