Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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