White coat. Heels.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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