I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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