dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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